April 2013.

I have failed miserably on doing my month-to-month updates.  So here I go.

April 2013 – I was in kind of a lull and it was in the midst of a regular Saturday night of having a house full of all of our friends that I kind of snapped in self-realization that I was falling further and further behind on… everything.  I was starting each day later which was causing me to find myself at dinner time, barely wrapping up the must-dos with clients in time to start dinner all while realizing I hadn’t even showered yet.  So I was feeling pretty awful about myself.  In hindsight, I was desperately trying to have it all together and while in my attempt to tie lose ends, the strings were falling through my hands so fast I was left with nothing but rope rash.

I decided to start this odd plan that was going to be very harsh on myself but I knew it would work.  It wasn’t going to be something I shared with the world via blog or instagram.  It was all just for me and therefore it was more real and harshly judged than anything I would have let go out into this so called “real world” of social relevance. I started taking selfies each day around the same time of day.  I would set an alarm clock every day with the intention of getting up, working out for an hour and then getting ready.  And if I didn’t get ready, too bad.  If I did, great!  This may not sound like a big deal bit it was really very harsh at first.  I was tired and I didn’t want to not to mention how I’d been struggling to lose weight for so long.  I wasn’t even in the mood to put on makeup.  I hated the way I looked and it wasn’t going to help no matter what I did.  I was convinced.  The first photo may as well be on a WANTED poster in with the highest bail possible.  I looked awful.  It took what seemed like weeks for anyone I recognized to show up in those photos.

I started organizing my closet by things I hadn’t worn recently rather than my color so I’d stop reaching for the same old black t-shirts and sweatpants.  It’s damn near impossible to get ready for the day when you have nowhere to be.  I stopped trying to control my diet and workout session by marking each and every calorie, each minute, and each effort with a graph and a star and a chart and… and… and… and I tried to do something new.  So in the month of April, I took up Mountain Biking and so did Stark.  Stark bought a Mountain Bike and I went from biking alone on the streets of Salt Lake City while he was out of town to the two of us biking together on the off roads of City Creek in the evenings.  I nearly made it to my previous size before having to give up working out entirely for medical reasons.

In addition to getting back to looking like myself and jumping into mountain biking, I started teaching in April as a volunteer for my local Community Writing Center.  I completed my volunteer training towards the end of April and I chose to be a group writing mentor.  As one of their groups needs to be completely rehabilitated, I was allowed to create my own curriculum from the ground up with my co-mentor, David Price.  We chose the name – Graffiti Writers – and I wrote a short excerpt to describe the group:  Engage in the urban-themed DiverseCity Writing Series group where we conquer our writing block one city block at a time by using this great Salt Lake as our very own writing prompt.  All genres welcome.  And what we want to hear is as broad as 5th South is wide.  Spray paint not included BYOP (bring your own pen… or paint).

What I hope to accomplish in teaching this class is to gain some teaching experience and find a consistent schedule for my own writing while helping others to find an outlet for theirs.

Last but not least, at the end of April Stark and I went to Phoenix to celebrate some of my very good friends in their marriage to each other.  Jan and Cherise were married last fall and we were finally able to celebrate their marriage at their reception in Phoenix this April and I am so very, very happy for them!   Their reception was so wonderful and our time in Phoenix was a lot of fun!

Caz Mountain Biking

Caz Mountain Biking

Stark & Caz in Phoenix

Stark & Caz in Phoenix

Caz with Cherise & Jan at their wedding reception

Caz with Cherise & Jan at their wedding reception



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